hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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