The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
