Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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