State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
