We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
