thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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