is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize