hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.