It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.