Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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