Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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