I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
