I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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