At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
