Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
