Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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