She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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