my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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