I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dear god my vagina.
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