You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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