Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
