my mouth tastes like poor choices
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You are a genius and a whore.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize