well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
