i think my mom watched the whole time
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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