rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
this hospital has no fireball
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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