I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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