im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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