Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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