Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
