And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
