his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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