i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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