I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
