I feel like abortions should bother me more
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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