Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize