party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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