I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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