do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
