he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
