I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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