Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
bring money and cleavage
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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