There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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