If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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