So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just saw a hot homeless man
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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