I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
