They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
