Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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