Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
