mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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