We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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