The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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