everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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