I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize