i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
