Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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