You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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